Run with the Rebels. Own the Current.
Three ways in: cinematic launch films, a tiered ocean economy for every founder, and a platinum, off-market program for companies that bend markets.
Legendary Launch Videos
High-cinema founder films and myth-making trailers engineered for distribution across X, TikTok, YouTube, Reddit, and email. We weaponize narrative.
- –30–120s cinematic trailer + founder cutdowns
- –Narrative strategy, hooks, cold open, and pacing
- –Launch ops: thumbnails, captions, posting calendar
Unfair Advantage
Cute-serious, Pixar-style cards that ladder from Free Minnows to Poseidon's Trident. Designed to onboard any founder into the Wischoff ecosystem.
Minnows
Free!
Dip a toe. Make your first ripple.
Shrimp Squad
$1k/month
Cadence over chaos. Your first waves.
Guppies
$3.5k/month
Stand out from the school.
Barracuda Blitz
$5.3k/month
Strike fast. Own the moment.
Dolphin Pod
$8.88k/month
Clever growth with clean execution.
Shark Tank
$17.5k/month
Teeth out. Market pressure on.
Orca Flock
$35k/month
Your full-stack growth navy.
Megalodon Legacy
$100k/month
Global. Relentless. Defining.
Kraken Unleashed
$250k/month
Bespoke force. All channels.
Poseidon's Trident
$1000k/month
Board-level alliance. Command the tides.
MACHINE
For the ones who kept building while everyone else sold courses. We've quietly invested $100M+ building, listening, and watching. Now the MACHINE is open — invitation-only, outcomes-obsessed, ruthless competence.
- •$35k – $1M+ / mo, seed → IPO
- •Dedicated strike teams across product, growth, media, and ops
- •Off-market distribution rails and founder-led mythmaking
Platinum Program
Private playbooks, founder ops, and a standing navy for your company.